What is memorialization?

Karen Darby-Ritz, 
Advance Planning Manager, 
Camino del Sol Funeral Chapel
and Cremation Center

Memorialization has many definitions, but according to Merriam-Webster, it is “to do or create something that causes people to remember a person, thing or event.”

As you know, families choose to memorialize their loved ones in many different ways. For example, recently in New York, an infamous party boy was memorialized by turning his viewing room into a replica of Bungalow 8. It was decked out with palm trees, a DJ played music, and everyone wore Snoopy t-shirts. His family and friends honored him the best way they knew how, in true party style. Another example is the recent memorial service for a millionaire car collector. He sat upright in his favorite Ferrari during his visitation.

There are those who enjoy the flair of an extravagant memorial service, and then there are those who don't want to "make a fuss." They don’t want a viewing, a service or a party for friends. Which style is correct?

The answer is simple. There is no right or wrong way for a family to honor their loved one's life, as long as they do some form of memorialization. A memorial can be as simple as a picture on a bronze memorial or as extravagant as a black tie and ball gown styled party with all their friends and family in attendance.

Our job as memorialization experts is to educate the families we serve about the importance of memorialization and to honor the life of their loved one. Their options are limited only by their own imagination.


This article originally appeared in Modern Memorialization, Trigard Memorials' weekly electronic newsletter featuring information for the funeral industry. Sign up for your free subscription at http://www.trigard.com/thursdays.

How flexible are you?

Scott Darby,
Media Manager and
Certified Funeral Celebrant,
Camino del Sol Funeral Chapel
and Cremation Center

I am the last of my generation to join the family business. Before training to become a funeral celebrant, I had a thirty-year career experience that consisted of performance, theatre technology and finally event coordination. I consider myself to be somewhat of a Renaissance man, having had my hands in several pots along my career trajectory. I have lived in Chicago, New York City, Austin, and currently Phoenix. I come from the worlds of audience satisfaction and customer service.

We’ve all read the trade magazines and it’s no secret that cremation has taken over as the preferred method of disposition. This may not be great news to many of us in the business of memorialization. Me? I see it as a challenge. Coming from theatre and hospitality, I am used to hearing, “This is what we need. How do we make it happen?” I want to bring this attitude into the funeral industry. Instead of looking at this information as a hurdle, I challenge you to see it as an opportunity to make memorialization better than it has ever been.

I remember a car drive I recently took with my sister, Karen. We were driving down a palm tree-lined street. It was the beginning of monsoon season. I love a good thunderstorm and was expressing my excitement about the coming weather. The monsoons in Arizona can get pretty severe with high winds, rain, amazing lightning shows and huge claps of thunder.

I said to Karen, “I can’t believe there are so many palm trees around. They must get destroyed during the monsoons.”

“Actually,” she replied, “that’s why they are so tall and thin. They are very flexible and bend with the wind. They do very well in the weather.”

Since we are being honest, I have to let you in on a secret. I’m not supposed to be living in Phoenix. By now, I was supposed to have a very successful career as an actor on Broadway, and be lounging by my pool in the Hollywood Hills, reading scripts for my movie debut. What happened?!?
I tell you this story to drive home the importance of taking risks and being flexible with the results. Be the palm tree that bends in the wind and survives the highest of winds to grow even taller.

People and companies are working differently than they have in the past. The internet has made the mobile workplace not only tangible but successful. Small businesses have to fight for their market share against corporations. There’s no way around it, we have to learn a new ballgame. This sounds daunting, I know. But the way I see it, we have the chance to create an even deeper meaning for memorialization and its importance to society. The world is open to us. It is an exciting time to be in our industry. Let’s shift the paradigm from, “That’s how we’ve always done it,” to “This is what we need. How do we make it happen?”

Cremation is a new frontier and I beg of you, don’t waste this opportunity. I implore you to be willing to take a few curveballs in the face. I promise you, after getting a few in the kisser, you’ll learn how to dodge them.

This article originally appeared in Modern Memorialization, Trigard Memorials' weekly electronic newsletter featuring information for the funeral industry. Sign up for your free subscription at http://www.trigard.com/thursdays.

To memorialize, or not to memorialize?

Karen Darby-Ritz,
Advance Planning Manager,
Camino del Sol Funeral
Chapel & Cremation Center

To memorialize, or not memorialize; that is the question. I'm taking some liberty with a quote from Shakespeare, but this question is definitely on many people’s minds.

I’m located in Arizona, where our projected cremation rate is nearly 67 percent this year. When I’m out in our community, people often ask me, “Why does memorialization matter?” Instead of being discouraged, I light up. I know that memorialization matters, and now I have an opportunity to share my passion and educate.

So what do I say?

First, memorialization gives us an opportunity to share our legacy. It’s important for future generations to know each of us existed. We have a rich history, and a cemetery or memorial park is where our history is permanently and publicly recorded.

Second, memorialization will help your family heal. When you give your family and friends a place to visit, share stories and acknowledge special dates and holidays, their healing process can continue in a healthy way.

Also, there are so many modern memorialization options. Your permanent memorial can be traditional or include color photographs that capture milestones from your life. It can be a in the ground or up on a niche tower; on a memorial rock or as part of a private estate monument.

Lastly, you matter! Deep down inside we all want to feel as if we had an impact on the world; if not the world at large, OUR world. We want to feel as though we’ve made a difference in someone’s life. Permanent memorialization is a way to leave your mark and remember that you mattered to so many special people.

So, to memorialize, or not to memorialize? There’s no question in my mind. The answer is a resounding, "YES!"

This article originally appeared in Modern Memorialization, Trigard Memorials' weekly electronic newsletter featuring information for the funeral industry. Sign up for your free subscription at http://www.trigard.com/thursdays.

Grieving is a social process

Karen Darby-Ritz,
Advance Planning Manager,
Camino del Sol Funeral Chapel
and Cremation Center

As an industry, it’s important that we understand loss and grief to the best of our ability, because it’s only then that we can best assist the families we serve. As we know, grief comes from a loss and there is a journey that we go on in dealing with this loss, including:

1. Acceptance
2. Experiencing the pain
3. Experiencing life without our loved one
4. Memorializing our loved one

We tend to think of grief as a solo effort, but what many of us don’t realize is that grief is a social process and many deal with it best in a social setting. Being surrounded by those that we love and that love us is more comforting than battling the grieving journey on our own.

As individuals who often see grief, we can help families through the process as well. Armed with knowledge gained by our years of experience and continued research on healthy healing, we can help them understand the importance of creating a permanent place of memorialization for a loved one. I encourage you to continue educating families on the value of memorialization and helping them on the path of healthy healing. Once families have a clear understanding that having a place for family and friends to gather to honor and celebrate the life of their loved one can they truly be able to heal.

This article originally appeared in Modern Memorialization, Trigard Memorials' weekly electronic newsletter featuring information for the funeral industry. Sign up for your free subscription at http://www.trigard.com/thursdays.

Help overwhelmed families find value

Karen Darby-Ritz,
Advance Planning Manager,
Camino del Sol Funeral Chapel &
Cremation Center

Our industry is constantly changing, and while some say, "it's about time," others are worried about the direction the change might go.
  The first step in accepting the challenge of our ever-changing industry is education. The families we serve are constantly being overwhelmed with information given to them. Today, the tendency to compare apples to oranges is so prevalent, that many families might overlook a great value when sifting through their information overload. It's our job to break it down for them so they understand the value they are receiving.

Memorialization has so many facets, no matter if it's a traditional burial or a cremation. The choices families have are only limited by their imaginations. It is important they are aware of their choices and the value they each bring. And, by educating them, we can help increase awareness of the importance of memorialization.

Be the change that you'd like to see in our industry. 



This article originally appeared in Modern Memorialization, Trigard Memorials' weekly electronic newsletter featuring information for the funeral industry. Sign up for your free subscription at http://www.trigard.com/thursdays.